When stop means go, when wrong feels right

In a city where rules are made to be broken, trying to live a law-abiding life can sometimes leave one feeling alienated. When we try to do the right thing while everyone else is doing the opposite, we can feel like we are the ones who “just don’t get it”.

Living in a big city like Jakarta, it is common for wrongs to feel right. The absurd paradox penetrates almost every aspect of our lives, skewing our perception of social morality and logic.

Crossroads are a good example. When constrained by a red light, it is often considered legitimate, even expected, to proceed if vehicles coming from the other directions are few and far between. This is, the theory goes, the perfect time to get out in front and make up lost time. But we don’t do that — because it is not right. After all, the red light is there not to inconvenience us, but to save our lives.

But, when the cars and motorcycles behind and around us start honking their horns and trying to navigate around us, we begin to feel edgy. Should we follow them or not? The earsplitting horns and engines reviving begin to chip away at our self belief.

We know it’s not right, but maybe it’s not so bad if everyone else does it. So, in the end, we give in and go with the flow.

People tend to search for the easiest path to reach their goal and avoid confrontation, even if it means breaking the rules.

This is one of the reasons why “under the table bribes” is the preferred method of payment here, and why our streets are in grid lock for 14 hours a day.

We often justify these actions by arguing that many people do the same thing.

How many times have we heard someone said, “Hey, everyone else is doing it, so why aren’t we? If there is an easier way, why bother doing it the hard way?”

Such reasoning compels us to ignore the voice of our conscience and think only of our happiness.
Another common sin is littering.

I often see my friends throwing their cigarette butts into the gutter or on the street, as if it were all a giant trash bin.

When I tell them to desist, they give me a weary smile and one of them inevitably says, “Relax, It’s just a cigarette butt. Others throw away far worse things.” The others nod in agreement.

Suddenly I feel I am being obnoxious, — a mother who tells her children not to go out in the rain without an umbrella. Maybe my friends are right — this city is a mess — why bother?

But yesterday, when I was on my way home from the office at 4 in the morning, feeling exhausted, suffering back pain and craving my bed, I witnessed a motorcycle in front of me run a red light and I too eyed a chance to shorten my trip home. However, just as I was making my way over the white line, I saw that one of the motorcycles had been stopped by a police officer.

“Looking for extra money, huh?” I sneered at the cop from afar. I was judging the cop without realizing that I was the guilty one because I had run a red light.

We often complain that Jakarta is so unorganized. And then, inevitably as soon as we have begun complaining we begin to blame. We blame the central government, we blame the city administration, we blame others, but never do we blame ourselves. We forget that we are all in this together.

The big question facing so many of us is — when we are caught in the trap of “wrong feels right”, should we go with the flow or against it?

If we choose to go with the flow that means that no matter what happens to the city, no matter how bad it becomes, we must stand it — we can’t complain.

But if we choose to go against the flow— to do the right thing - we may despair at the actions of others, but if we don’t start with ourselves, we will never start at all.

Jakarta Post| Tue, 05/11/2010 10:15 AM | City