Seberapa sering sih kita berani jujur sama diri sendiri?
Kalau gua, jarang. Karena pura-pura itu lebih gampang daripada harus mengakui kalau kita gak pantes.
Apalagi orang lain lebih mudah menilai seperti apa kita, ketimbang siapa kita. Jadinya kita lebih sering mengambil pilihan untuk menyenangkan orang lain, padahal kita tahu kita gak sanggup.
tapi apa lo gak capek dengan semua drama yang lo lakonin hanya demi harga diri lo sendiri. Tahu gak sih, harga diri kita tuh gak cukup berharga untuk bisa membuat kita happy.
Emang kenapa kalau kita ditinggalin sama orang-orang karena memilih jalan kita sendiri? Emang kenapa kalau kita jadi keliatan aneh karena gak mengikuti arus?
Apa salahnya mendengarkan kata hati yang mungkin gak selalu benar. Dan apa salahnya mengambil jalan yang salah? Kalau dengan salah kita bisa belajar jadi benar.
Perasaan kesepian dan kecil yang membuat seakan-akan gak ada jalan lain selain menjalani pilihan yang bukan pilihan kita. Kita jadi sering takut gak bisa membahagiakan orang lain. Tapi apa lo yakin keputusan lo akan berakibat sebaliknya?
Kalau ternyata gak, kita mau salahin siapa? Orang-orang yang ingin kita bahagiakan? atau menyalahkan diri sendiri dan menyesal seumur hidup?
Penyesalan itu cuma hadir ketika kita mengambil sebuah keputusan, baik itu benar atau salah, gak dari hati kita yang paling dalam. Gak jujur. Kalau kita sudah jujur dari awal, pasti sesalah apapun hasilnya nanti, kita akan punya tenaga dan keberanian untuk bangkit dan memperbaiki semuanya.
Dan jangan pernah memilih semata-mata untuk membahagiakan orang lain. Gua percaya nasib kita adalah milik kita sendiri. Jadi mau bahagia atau gak, kita juga yang bisa menentukan. Kalau orang-orang yang takut lo kecewain itu benar-benar sayang sama elo, mereka pasti bisa mengerti apapun keputusan yang elo ambil.
tapi kalau gak, yaaa simpel aja sih, berarti mereka bukan orang-orang yang pantes mendapatkan pengorbanan elo. Karena mereka gak benar-benar sayang sama elo.
Thats' it. end of story.
If life is complicated, just uncomplicated it. That's simple in theory. But at real life, it's always our choice to make it, easy or hard.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Pada sebuah hujan
Hujan berlompatan riang di atap-atap mobil
Sambil berdendang lirik rintik romantis
Langit pun meredup, tiada gelap, tiada terik
Sejuk bagai senyum ramah seorang wanita tua
Yang senang mengamati cucu-cucunya sedang riang bermain
Sambil berdendang lirik rintik romantis
Langit pun meredup, tiada gelap, tiada terik
Sejuk bagai senyum ramah seorang wanita tua
Yang senang mengamati cucu-cucunya sedang riang bermain
Monday, March 16, 2009
melangkah
Mau jalan ke utara atau ke barat ya?
Tapi yang di selatan juga terlihat menyenangkan
Atau ke timur di awal mentari berseri
Ikut kemana angin bertiup
Begitu nasihat sebuah tembang lawas
Yang membuatku jadi setengah waras
Karena ternyata angin bertiup tak kenal batas
Bah!
Tapi yang di selatan juga terlihat menyenangkan
Atau ke timur di awal mentari berseri
Ikut kemana angin bertiup
Begitu nasihat sebuah tembang lawas
Yang membuatku jadi setengah waras
Karena ternyata angin bertiup tak kenal batas
Bah!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
About no ordinary girl
This is not an ordinary story
About a girl madly extraordinary
So sit back and listen
Hold to your cola and let me start with a hola!
HOLA!
She likes dancing and singing
Everywhere, anytime
At publics, in her room, even while she’s sleeping
Out loud, out of this world
Don’t care what people might say
She’s just happy for the way she is
Something some people are too afraid to show it
She’s living in her own world
She’s living her dream
Her world is a Disney land
Where laugh is the universal language
Where happiness can be measure by hysterical scream
Yeah… Excitement is the air she breathe
She’s as free as wind
Twisting, blowing, doing everything
As her heart tells her to do
She sweep me off the ground
Remind me that is OK to be different
Normal is such a boring word
Tik tok tik tok…
Tik tok tik tok…
It’s just a constant refrain
Step up to the challenge and be insanely lively
Du ba du ba do ba be ba luuuuuul
Sya la la lo lu le la bluuuu bleeeee
Feel the beat, insanity is so unpredictable
Yes, she’s different
She’s not your ordinary girl
Not because of her lunatic grin
Or her crazy dance
Simply because she is happy for most of the time
She doesn't care too fat or too skinny
She never envy what others girls fancy
She doesn't spend time to talk about others mischief
She never care what boys thought of her
She may not be the prettiest girl
But her smile sure has the happiest twirl
Ooo it will give you the trill
By the skill everyone longing to fill
Normal is such a boring word
Tik tok tik tok…
Tik tok tik tok…
It’s just a constant refrain
Step up to the challenge and be insanely lively
Du ba du ba do ba bruuuuu
Sya la la lo le lu la bluuuu bleeeee
Feel the beat, insanity is so unpredictable
She’s not talking alone
She’s talking to her hearts
She’s not laughing at nothing
She’s laughing at her imaginations
What your mind can’t understand
Your heart interpret it clearer
What your eyes can’t see
Your heart sees it better
That's what I learned from her
The no ordinary girl
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Who we really are?
It may be the biggest, most important question in our life. It’s the riddle each of us longing to solve. The answer is so essential it divine the future and strengthen our existence in today’s world where everyone looks almost the same. Some people might find it easy to discover, but for some others, like me, we can stuck in everlasting confusion. And no others have the answer but oneself.
It’s easier for us to claim others qualities than to seek for our own. We tend to become what people want us to be, instead of something we are happy to be. Because it’s the shortcut, the “Ponari Water” to reach too, what it seems, the best of us. And we think we might be able to make everybody happy, where as it is impossible.
How one can make everybody happy if one is not.
You may take my writing as bullshit. A desperate man searching for a life sensation through a cheap publication. If you do think this note that way, you should stop wasting your time reading this piece of crap. But for you who willing to listen; this is my true story, my unfinished journey to find who I really am. The scary thing about this whole episode of self-discovery is, I don’t know when and how will I end the story. But maybe this writing is the start.
I’m not someone you used to think I am.
I’m the boy who sits alone in the corner, shy; feel inferior, not brave enough to speak out his mind. The geek, the loner, not good in making friends because I’m worry too much to make mistakes, instead I made even a lot more. I always try to be the best; I forget no one is perfect. I guess that’s how sometimes people get the bad vibe from me.
Honestly, sometimes it hurts so much, when loneliness visit me. I try to hush it away by pretending everything is okay. But I can’t. I'm too weary to fool myself. Yesterday afternoon, when I was sitting alone, a line of questions sprang suddenly; “what would I become in the next 10 years? Would I be myself? Would I be happy for what I have become? Since then, these questions kept echoing over and over inside my head. Like a broken cassette. Like the sound of thousand bats flying out of darkest cave.
Please don’t spare me your pity, for I already have enough from myself. I didn't write to beg, I did it to tell you the unspoken side of me. The dark side. The one that I keep running away from. Above all I did it because...
I really want to be your friend.
People say friend got nothing to hide from each other. A friend always tells his friend the truth. And this is my truth; I can’t find my way alone. I need friends to share my dreams. I need friends to slap me on the head if I do it wrongly. I need friends whom I can tell about my fears and doubt. I need friends that will stay with me no matter what happen.
So then maybe I’ll find the answer, Who am I? And maybe... you'll find yours as well.
---Lovers and friends are alike, they come and go. The only difference is friends take you wherever they go (they keep you in their heart, just as if you wonder. ;p).---
PS: I deliberately wrote in English, because I never really have the courage to do it and to listen to critics. But now I’m not scare (okay. Maybe a little bit. OKAY! OKAY! I'm scare. I'm so scare. okay. Fiuuuuh... :p). People say making mistakes is the best also the bitterest way to find ourselves. …
It’s easier for us to claim others qualities than to seek for our own. We tend to become what people want us to be, instead of something we are happy to be. Because it’s the shortcut, the “Ponari Water” to reach too, what it seems, the best of us. And we think we might be able to make everybody happy, where as it is impossible.
How one can make everybody happy if one is not.
You may take my writing as bullshit. A desperate man searching for a life sensation through a cheap publication. If you do think this note that way, you should stop wasting your time reading this piece of crap. But for you who willing to listen; this is my true story, my unfinished journey to find who I really am. The scary thing about this whole episode of self-discovery is, I don’t know when and how will I end the story. But maybe this writing is the start.
I’m not someone you used to think I am.
I’m the boy who sits alone in the corner, shy; feel inferior, not brave enough to speak out his mind. The geek, the loner, not good in making friends because I’m worry too much to make mistakes, instead I made even a lot more. I always try to be the best; I forget no one is perfect. I guess that’s how sometimes people get the bad vibe from me.
Honestly, sometimes it hurts so much, when loneliness visit me. I try to hush it away by pretending everything is okay. But I can’t. I'm too weary to fool myself. Yesterday afternoon, when I was sitting alone, a line of questions sprang suddenly; “what would I become in the next 10 years? Would I be myself? Would I be happy for what I have become? Since then, these questions kept echoing over and over inside my head. Like a broken cassette. Like the sound of thousand bats flying out of darkest cave.
Please don’t spare me your pity, for I already have enough from myself. I didn't write to beg, I did it to tell you the unspoken side of me. The dark side. The one that I keep running away from. Above all I did it because...
I really want to be your friend.
People say friend got nothing to hide from each other. A friend always tells his friend the truth. And this is my truth; I can’t find my way alone. I need friends to share my dreams. I need friends to slap me on the head if I do it wrongly. I need friends whom I can tell about my fears and doubt. I need friends that will stay with me no matter what happen.
So then maybe I’ll find the answer, Who am I? And maybe... you'll find yours as well.
---Lovers and friends are alike, they come and go. The only difference is friends take you wherever they go (they keep you in their heart, just as if you wonder. ;p).---
PS: I deliberately wrote in English, because I never really have the courage to do it and to listen to critics. But now I’m not scare (okay. Maybe a little bit. OKAY! OKAY! I'm scare. I'm so scare. okay. Fiuuuuh... :p). People say making mistakes is the best also the bitterest way to find ourselves. …
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Where do I go from here?
Sitting here thinking about tomorrow
In the place where future is dull
To where my heart should follow
I could not perceive
I try to listens the subtlest voice inside
Direction out of sight
But all I can hear is just the sound of emptiness
Simply nothing, slowly impaled
I’ve tried, I crushed my bones
Tears my heart out
Somehow, nothing seems to come my way
Should I stop and pretend everything’s okay
Or I should wait for another ray of hope
Ooh Hope!
How I hate that word
The dope of life
Making me unwilling to stop
From trying and trying and trying
And what do I get from that?
Nothing but pain and a rude awakening
That every failure becomes the moment of probability
For I might forever be
Just another stranger in the crowd
Where do I go from here?
What should I do to stay alive?
There are thousand paths ahead
But one path I’ll never take
I’ll never run away
In the place where future is dull
To where my heart should follow
I could not perceive
I try to listens the subtlest voice inside
Direction out of sight
But all I can hear is just the sound of emptiness
Simply nothing, slowly impaled
I’ve tried, I crushed my bones
Tears my heart out
Somehow, nothing seems to come my way
Should I stop and pretend everything’s okay
Or I should wait for another ray of hope
Ooh Hope!
How I hate that word
The dope of life
Making me unwilling to stop
From trying and trying and trying
And what do I get from that?
Nothing but pain and a rude awakening
That every failure becomes the moment of probability
For I might forever be
Just another stranger in the crowd
Where do I go from here?
What should I do to stay alive?
There are thousand paths ahead
But one path I’ll never take
I’ll never run away
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Ramalan bijak yang menjitak
Malam tadi, di sebuah kafe Buddha di Jakarta, aku melihat sebuah fish bowl yang tiga minggu lalu masih terisi penuh oleh ramalan bijak dalam gulungan kecil warna-warni yang disematkan di dalam potongan sedotan. Tapi sekarang isinya tinggal seperempat. Apakah begitu banyak orang bingung dan kehilangan arah, lalu berharap tulisan bijak di dalam gulungan-gulungan kertas kecil mirip permen warna-warni itu bisa memberikan jawaban?
Aku mengambil satu lagi tadi malam dan memilih yang biru. Karena biru adalah warna hatiku. Namun gulungan itu tak kubuka sampai beberapa menit lalu, sebelum aku memulai tulisan ini. Kubuka perlahan gulungannya, dari kiri ke kanan, sedikit-sedikit kata-kata di dalamnya mulai muncul, dan berkata;
“Cinta kasih yang sejati adalah menjaga kondisi batin sebaik-baiknya.”
Hanya satu yang kupercaya dalam hidup, yaitu keyakinanku. Tidak pernah ramalan bintang, kartu tarot, apalagi sebuah gulungan kertas kecil berisi kata-kata bijak dari sebuah Fish bowl.
Tapi aku percaya, keyakinanku selalu berusaha berbicara kepadaku melalui semua yang ada di sekitarku, termasuk gulungan kertas biru itu.
Karena beberapa hari belakangan ini aku memang sedang menyiksa batin dengan takut yang pekat. Mungkin aku harus berhenti menyiksa diri. Belajar menerima dan mencintai diri sendiri apa adanya,
sebelum aku jadi sinting.
Aku tidak pernah bermaksud mencari jawaban dengan gampang. Namun lewat segulung kertas kecil berwarna biru, dengan kalimat yang terkesan omong kosong bila dibaca orang seperti aku, pertanyaan yang selama ini aku cari terjawab. Atau sebenarnya aku memang sudah mengetahui jawaban dari keresahanku, hanya saja butuh sebuah gulungan kertas biru berisi kata-kata bijak - nyaris omong kosong, untuk mengingatkan.
Because once in the while people do get lost.
Aku mengambil satu lagi tadi malam dan memilih yang biru. Karena biru adalah warna hatiku. Namun gulungan itu tak kubuka sampai beberapa menit lalu, sebelum aku memulai tulisan ini. Kubuka perlahan gulungannya, dari kiri ke kanan, sedikit-sedikit kata-kata di dalamnya mulai muncul, dan berkata;
“Cinta kasih yang sejati adalah menjaga kondisi batin sebaik-baiknya.”
Hanya satu yang kupercaya dalam hidup, yaitu keyakinanku. Tidak pernah ramalan bintang, kartu tarot, apalagi sebuah gulungan kertas kecil berisi kata-kata bijak dari sebuah Fish bowl.
Tapi aku percaya, keyakinanku selalu berusaha berbicara kepadaku melalui semua yang ada di sekitarku, termasuk gulungan kertas biru itu.
Karena beberapa hari belakangan ini aku memang sedang menyiksa batin dengan takut yang pekat. Mungkin aku harus berhenti menyiksa diri. Belajar menerima dan mencintai diri sendiri apa adanya,
sebelum aku jadi sinting.
Aku tidak pernah bermaksud mencari jawaban dengan gampang. Namun lewat segulung kertas kecil berwarna biru, dengan kalimat yang terkesan omong kosong bila dibaca orang seperti aku, pertanyaan yang selama ini aku cari terjawab. Atau sebenarnya aku memang sudah mengetahui jawaban dari keresahanku, hanya saja butuh sebuah gulungan kertas biru berisi kata-kata bijak - nyaris omong kosong, untuk mengingatkan.
Because once in the while people do get lost.
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